🦋Transformation…

Some people tell me how much they love my writing, that it speaks to what they feel in their heart.

Some people tell me I have a way of expressing what they are feeling, but couldn’t find the words to voice.

I have always loved writing in my journal.

I love having a place to write and voice my thoughts.

The page always holds space for me.

The page is always safe.

On the page, I am seen.

On the page, I am heard.

On the page, my voice is not lost.

My voice is recorded in permanent ink.

I can go back, read and reread my own words.

I can see my thoughts clearly.

I can better understand who I am,
what I want, and how to get there.

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I held back from sharing my writing for a long, looong time!

I was afraid of criticism.

I was afraid of not being liked.

I was afraid of feeling silly for what was in my heart..

I was afraid of being seen and liked too much.

I was afraid of anything that could possibly lead to me feeling unsafe or unloved.

So I hid! And I hid! And I hid!

For 40 years I hid!

But, I’m not hiding anymore.

I’m tired of being afraid.

I’m tired of not living my life to the fullest.

I’m tired of not claiming the gifts God gave me.

I’m tired of not owning my calling, and claiming my destiny!

So here I am! Just me, Ruth Renee!

All I have to give the world is my story!

It is a wild story, with many ups and downs, quite the roller coaster of a ride, but it is filled with hope, healing, and overcoming!!!

God is so good, and I am only who I am today because of Him.

It may sound cheesy, but He is my best friend.

It may sound too simple, but I have seen the impossible become possible when I trust Him above everyone else, including myself.

I have felt Jesus hold my hand, carry me on his shoulders, and even scoop me into His safe and loving arms at the worst of the worst times!!

God s the only one who could save me from myself, from being locked away in in my past, my grief, my mind.

Jesus rescued me…Jesus healed me… and Jesus set me free!

He gave me my life back, y’all! He came after me with a fierce, safe love unlike any other I have ever experienced.

Jesus turned my ashes into beauty, my grief to joy!

So here I am, just me, Ruth Renee, sharing my heart with you, “grabbing the snake by the tail,” facing my deepest fear of being seen.

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“Fear, I’m tired of being afraid of you!!”

“Forty years is long enough!”

“If not now, when!?!”

“I don’t need everyone to like me.”

“I’m okay with making mistakes in front of others.”

“My mistakes don’t define me.”

“If someone doesn’t like me, that’s okay!”

“I’m proud of my goals and dreams!”

“My thoughts are important and worth sharing!”

“Fear, I’m done being afraid of you!”

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I am a beloved child of God, and He loves me with the fiercest love in the universe, more than I can ever comprehend or imagine in this life.

I know who I am, and am learning to love who God made me to be.

I love God for coming after me, for healing me, for helping me confront and overcome my deepest fears and darkest shame.

I am learning with greater depth each day that God’s goodness and love endure forever, that He wants me to receive his compassion and grace.

I will be gentle with myself when others are not.

I will stop worrying about what others think of me or my art.

I will stop needing everyone to like me.

I will stop listening to the naysayers.

I listen to the encouragers.

I listen to the heart of God.

I listen to the lost, and the hopeless.

I listen to the suffering, the tired, and the lonely.

My soul shines bright!

My voice will reach those who need to hear what I have to say.

There are too many others like me,

Suffering like I suffered,

too long without a voice,

feeling helpless, hopeless, powerless…

Sad, alone, hurt and afraid.

Too many lost in grief and shame,

Suffering without words,

without voices…

I lend my voice.

I lend my gift from God.

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Writing is my calling, my purpose.

A child of God is who I am.

Writing is my destiny.

I am an artist in recovery

This is where I belong

Welcome to my world!

Welcome to my heart! ♥️

____

With hope,
Ruth Renee

5.13.2020
Reach/Restore/Reimagine

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